Nightmare

I just woke up from a nightmare. It wasn't anything about monsters. It involved someone I really cared about. They didn't die or anything. They left me. They left me for someone else and they didn't give me a real reason. I asked them why and they said they had always been like this. There were parts that made no sense now that I think about it but I was more focused on the nightmare. It seemed so real, too. I woke up crying and that's never happened to me before. I called up this person and they told me that would never happen but I'm not sure. I don't know what to think at this point. I've left out specific parts of the nightmare for personal reasons.

Lonely Sunday

I was fine with being alone. All I had to worry about was myself. I thought that if I opened myself up to others, they'd take advantage of it and use everything I told them against me. I was scared at the idea of being hurt.

But then in December 2011 I let someone into my life for the first time. I let him know the real me. It was supposed to be just a crush. I had no idea that I would like him this much, that I would get so attached.

That's what surprised me most. I had changed. I was no longer fine with being alone. I didn't ever want to be alone again. I think that's what drove me to react so harshly last night. I wanted things to go back to normal.

I wanted to go back to normal.

He hasn't text me at all today. I don't blame him. I told him to 'Leave me alone.' I should make the first move but I'm too stubborn to say sorry. And even if I did, would he accept it? There's only one way to find out...

But I'm scared he hates me.